The New Nation - Internet Edition

M Zahidul Haque

NOW we are going to announce the name of the winner of this cooking competition, the anchor lady dressed party in English style and partly in Hindi declared - the first prize goes to Mr. Gedu Mia for his terrific recipe "Poncha Dim in Poncha Keema" (Rotten Egg in Rotten Force-meat). Popular TV channel 'Desert Tide' was telecasting this cooking competition's grand finale! It may be mentioned here that some Bangladeshis who worked in a pharmaceutical company's packaging department in the Middle East had actually set up the 'Desert Tide' TV channel through investing all the money they had so far earned in Middle East.

Mr. Chan Chaklader, the Managing Director of the 'Desert Tide' was suddenly appeared on the screen. By stopping the anchor lady he asked Mr. Gedu to describe his wonderful recipe, i.e. Poncha Dim in Poncha Keema, which received a huge appreciation and acclamation from all the judges. Gedu took the microphone and addressed - Dear viewers, my recipe is not an exceptional one. Of course there is a story behind the invention of this exceptional recipe. A few months back I was eating tea in a restaurant at Chankhar Pool. I saw that a little portion of Dim and Keema left unused after the Aluchop and Keemapuri maker had finished his preparations. It was then the idea poured into my fertile brain - why not make a delicious dish by using the leftover keema and dim.

Well one thing I wish to make clear that although I have named my recipe as Poncha Dim in Poncha Keema but in reality neither the eggs nor the force-meat used in preparing this dish are rotten. I just framed the name to make it attractive and super! To get back, I purchased all the leftovers for a few Rials (sorry, Takas) and brought to my home. I took a piece of onion and some green chilies and fried all the stuff at 100 degree centigrade temperature on my kerosene stove. After I finished preparing the Poncha Dim in Poncha Keema I served it to my house servant Abdul to taste. He profusely praised my dish calling it a superb food item. It was then I decided to file my recipe in this competition. The audiences present inside the studio congratulated Gedu Mia with a big and long applause. The anchor lady requested Gedu Mia to demonstrate the preparation of his Poncha Dim in Poncha Keema before the viewers. While Gedu Mia proceeded with his preparation, the anchor lady in a new edition of the old fashioned BOAC smile requested - Mr.Gedu, couldn't you please sing a song in between your cooking process? Oh, yes, Bhabi, how can I defy your request after all you are my partner's wife. But you know, I am not a singer and while we used to work in the Middle East, we had hardly got time to listen to music or sing a song. Still I will sing an old ad jingle which was very favorite to me but don't mind, it is in urdut

"Chaye chaji-ye

Kaun si Janab

Lipton hi to hai

Lipton diji-ye

Lipton liji-ye"

(Need tea

Which one Sir

Lipton of course available

Give Lipton

Have Lipton")

As the dish preparation was progressing suddenly the program was interrupted and a 'Breaking News" sign appeared on the TV screen - "Kitchen Minister's car hit by Unidentified Flying Object' (UFO), Minister escaped unhurt!" An announcement followed - Dear viewers, we are extremely sorry to inform that we are constrained to continue our cooking program any further as the Hon'ble Minister for Kitchen Affairs and one of our Share-holders together with his protocol team hurt in a road accident. We express our deepest regret as we cannot present the details of the accident because the Ministry of Information have issued a 'D-note' blocking dissemination of all information pertaining to the accident. After all this a state security matter because of the involvement of an UFO!

Meanwhile the next morning, the daily "Angle Times" which is regarded as a govt. gazette published a PID handout stating that the previous day's accident occurred not due to a collision of the Minister's car with an UFO but with a cow and a goat which were sitting on the highway. The accident took place when the cow that was taking rest on the highway felt seriously disturbed as the Kitchen Minister's motorcade was coming with a tremendous speed.

To encounter, the cow under reference tried to resist Minister's car with horns while the goat sitting on the same place ran fearlessly through the roadtthe Kitchen Minister was greatly ted up and instantly constituted an inter-ministry action committee to formulate a policy to punish all those people who would tie their cows with rope by the side of the highway and would be apprehended for bringing and allowing their goats to gaze, to sit by the side and on the highway.

The Minister strongly opined that this is one of the major reasons for highway accidents. Quoting the Kitchen Minister, the handout further said that the Minister seeks 'Dua' from the countrymen so that he might not fall into such terrible situation again in the future. The Kitchen Minister also wished a healthy and happy life and living for the country's cows and goats and expressed his firm hope that they (cows and goats) and their masters will abide by the highway traffic rules!