The New Nation - Internet Edition

"By criticism, as it was first instituted by Aristotle, was meant a standard of judging well. --Dryden."

"You're fat, you're stupid, and your breath smells bad." If someone hurled these bons mots at you, you might feel as if you were being unfairly criticized. In actuality, you were merely insulted. A true "criticism," in the purest definition of the word, would have been, "It might do you some good to lose some weight, educate yourself, and brush your teeth." One type of comment probably hurts, the other potentially enlightens.

Of course, whether or not someone should presume to offer his opinion about your looks or the state of your breath is debatable. But if someone in a kind, non derogatory manner, gave you some useful tips on how you could improve your life in some way, would you appreciate it? Would you possibly even act on this advice? The answer to this question can be found by glancing at the New York Times bestseller list, which features books like Simple Abundance, by Sarah Ban Breathnach, on the list for 128 weeks, and described as "Advice for women seeking to improve the way they look at themselves." Exercise guru's Bill Phillips book Body For Life, #2 on the Times' list, promises to "improve one's body and one's life."

Individuals love to have the power to improve themselves, whether it be through diet, exercise, education or just a new haircut. The ever popular how-to books are the essence of classic "criticism," as they attempt to describe whatever it is you're doing wrong with your relationships, lifestyle, etc., and then try to set you on a preferred path. People are not offended by these books -- to the contrary, they embrace them with open arms, not to mention checkbooks. But if Mama tries to offer you some of her wisdom, or "constructive criticism," watch outt

It is probably easier for many to accept "criticism" from an impersonal source like a book or video, as they don't have to worry about any hidden or ulterior motives on the part of the critic. For instance, if your boss counsels you that you need to be more organized, you might worry that he's thinking of firing you. However, if you independently recognized your own sloppy practices in a book titled How to Organize Your Desk, you might take the opportunity to find ways to straighten up your work area. Perhaps you'd then be in line for a raise, rather than an unemployment check. Bear in mind that your "critical" boss may have a lot to offer you, though, if you can overcome the uncomfortable sense of being "criticised." This requires letting go of your defensive ego, however, and understanding that others conceivably have knowledge that could be useful to you. Rather than denying that you have any problems, you might ask your boss honestly what he thinks you should do to improve your work habits, and if his guidance is good, act on it. You will have learned something positive from this experience, rather than carrying around a negative.

The critics in our lives are our greatest motivators, and we should appreciate them. If you think about it, you will probably remember with fondness that high-school English teacher who handed you back a term paper you threw together at the last minute, and told you firmly that the "potential is there, but you need to try harder. I expect more of you." If you made a choice to ignore this suggestion, you probably learned nothing. If you took that paper and re-researched it and rewrote it and tried really hard to make it exemplary, you probably learned plenty. Without the extra push of the criticism from this teacher, you might have coasted by with a C-Paper, rather than pushing yourself to earn the A. That "pushing yourself to earn the A" is what enables us to better our lives, relationships, or financial conditions.

As with anything, there is a downside to criticism, when it's taken to an extreme. You've seen with many actresses and models who are exquisitely beautiful. Anyone would take one look at them, and pronounce them perfect. They are so incredibly hard on themselves, however, they end up making themselves (and others) miserable. A tiny pimple on their otherwise flawless complexions will send them into fits of anxiety. Perfect isn't good enough, absolute perfection is the target. The obsessive self-criticism makes them almost insane, and difficult to be around. In my opinion, life is too short for this type of nonsense. Any goal that makes you crazy trying to attain isn't really worth achieving.

Clever criticism is to find the right words and attitude to help others, or even help yourself.