The New Nation - Internet Edition

Farizaa Sabreen

According to Tenneva Jordan, "A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." Mother is the greatest gift that one can ever receive in a lifetime. It's her care that prepares you to face the world. 11th May is Mother's Day. The time to show how much you care your mom and make something special that day. Make mom smile big when she unwraps your gifts on the very day.

What's your image of the 21st-century mom? Modern-day moms are breathtakingly busy. They mix up to spend quality time with their kids, they are guilt-stricken about how little time is left over for their family as well as they are desperate for a little downtime for themselves.

They try too hard to be superhuman, often sacrificing their own well-being and relationships with friends, family, even their spouses to meet the ever-increasing demands of their kid's lives. Though such efforts predictably fall short and moms blame themselves.

Doing a million things at once and brilliantly and playing the role of a mother, wife, employee, or friend is amazing. Multitasking is actually counterproductive, since every time you switch from one task to another, you lose time. Focus on one thing and you'll actually get more done. Which is better all around, since you'll wind up with more time to do the things you like and with the people you love.

Feel guilty when you spend more time at outside without babies? How about when you finish a whole candy bar -- or you buy lots of things only for you? Guilty again? Time to stop. Turns out that some of the things you think are self-indulgent are actually good for you and your kids too.

Sometimes guilt is a necessary emotion. It serves as an internal alarm that something may be amiss. The tricky part knows when to tune in to the feeling and when to tune it out.

And working-mom's guilt? Mothers with jobs, full-time or part-time, are no more likely than their at-home counterparts to feel guilty about not always being the perfect parent.

Yelling is considered the biggest mommy guilt. Inform your kid that you don't want to yell and you feel bad about it. Let them know when and what make you irritated, so that they try to do those things.

Sometimes mom dreads having to play with kids. She knows she should engage with them, but she often has so much to do or she may find it boring.

Sometimes you want to simply walk away from the sleep deprivation and the crying and the chaos. But the next moment you feel guilty about feeling that way.

Today's mothers go to bed feeling proud. Many even feel they're doing better with their kids than their own moms did with them. For many women, Mom has become more than just family and they now consider her a friend. To reduce mommy guilt today's mom can check out the following tips.

1. Plan some "me" time. And after you could do every work more energetically. According to a survey, more than 1,300 moms feel guilty for yelling with their kids.

2. Stop comparing yourself and your children to others. At the same time accept your limitations as well as your children's. It is not healthy for our children or us as moms because every child is different. The same goes for you. Some moms like to cook and some like to take them out at parks. Some work in office and some work at home.

3. Getting a babysitter/maid, even if it's just to run errands, helps you reorder, and it gets your kids used to being around other people.

You don't have to put aside a hobby or interest because you're a mom. Seeing friends are more than just fun. It may keep your mind sharp. "I used to feel extreme guilt about meeting up with friends after being at work all day," says Bushra, a mother of four. "But I realized that the only way to keep my spontaneity given my hectic schedule was to think of myself a little bit and have some fun," she adds.

4. If something has happened to upset you sending an e-mail can be a health booster. Because, writing forces you to organize your thoughts and helps you understand what's really going on and how it makes you feel.

5. It can seem impossible to find any time to snooze, what with the baby crying, the toddler sick, and the dirty dishes calling. But save the chores for later and take a nap when your child does. Leave the baby with her dad or grandparents and go to bed early one night this week.

Mommy Guilt persuades mom to let go of unobtainable goals. From the moment of baby's birth, every mom tries to be the very best mom. But parenting is hard work. Parenting doesn't go as planned. Your children do outrageous things or they go down the wrong path or your marriage struggles. And the feelings of guilt inevitably follow.

A happy, contented mother is better able to respond to the demands of her children, so do not feel guilty about taking the time to care for yourself.