The New Nation - Internet Edition

The demands of caring for twins or more puts a strain on even the strongest marriage. With a little preparation, these tips will help make the first few months with multiples a bit more manageable.

1. Connect With Other Families

Meeting other parents of twins, triplets or more can be extremely reassuring and rewarding. Not only will they show you that life with multiples is do-able, they can give you solid advice on just how to do it. It's crucial to establish a network of been-there, done-that veterans to call on in times of crisis.

2. Stock Up on Supplies

With double the demand, baby supplies are consumed at a rapid rate. Stock up on the things you'll use most: diapers, wipes, bottles and formula. An ample supply of onsies and light sleepers is invaluable. Keep items in their original packaging and hold onto receipts so that you can easily return the things that aren't used. The clubs mentioned above hold annual sales; they are a fantastic opportunity to stock up on gently used clothes and equipment.

3. Sleep When the Babies Sleep

It may sound silly, but this advice is echoed repeatedly by nearly all parents of twins or more. It's tempting to use the precious quiet time to get other things accomplished, but you have to remember your own rest requirements. It's easy to become overwhelmed when you're exhausted. Sleep is a precious commodity, so take advantage of every opportunity

4. Get A Good Stroller

One of the trickiest aspects of managing multiples is logistics: getting anywhere becomes a nightmare when you've got more babies than hands. A good stroller makes it much easier. Some parents prefer a tandem (front/back) style for maneuverability in tight spaces, while others find that a side-by-side model is more comfortable for their babies. Specialized strollers for triplets and quads are also available. Although pricey, they are worth the investment.

5. Keep Things Straight

How much did she eat? When's the last time he had a wet diaper? Which baby are you anyway? Setting up an organized system for keepings things straight will ensure that everyone's needs are met. Make a chart to track feeding times and amounts, diaper changes, medications and other important information. (Hint: if you're having trouble telling your multiples apart - even if they're not identical! - a small dab of nail polish on one toe will help distinguish them.)

6. Focus on Priorities

Keep it simple. Let things go. Your focus during the first few months with multiple should be on your newly expanded family. It's not the time to cook gourmet meals, do spring cleaning or learn a new hobby. Focus on caring for your new bundles of joy, and let the little things slide. You'll have time to catch up on those other things a few months down the road, when your multiples have established a schedule.

7. Organize Help

People love multiples, and they genuinely want to help. Take advantage of every offer. Delegate. Be specific. Let your eager helpers take care of meals, errands, care of other siblings, housework, yard work, laundry, shopping and all the details of life so that you can focus on priorities.

8. Take Time Out

Even though your identity has changed to encompass your new role as parent of multiples, you can't afford to neglect your old self. It's important to take time off every once in a while to focus on yourself and your spouse. Put a helpful relative, neighbour or even a teenage mother's helper in charge of the babies for a few moments so that you can take a break. Soak in the tub, take a walk, or simply take a nap. You'll be amazed at how refreshed you'll feel after even a short break.

9. Be Flexible

A textbook approach doesn't work with twins or multiples. Every family has different habits and needs and the "right" way is really whatever works best for you. As you establish a routine that includes your newest additions, be willing to try a variety of schedules, techniques and products. Remember that your multiples are individuals, and not a perfectly matched set. What works for one may not be appropriate for the other.

10. Recognize That This "Two" Shall Pass

Keep things in perspective. No matter how bad things get, they are temporary. Babies grow up. They will start to sleep more and eat less often. It will become easier to take them out in public. With each passing day, you are one step closer to getting things under control. Savor the special moments of infancy: the sleepy snuggles, shy smiles and sweet smells of your babies. They will soon be only a treasured memory.

Feeding Twins

In the first few days you will think this is impossible. It is possible to breastfeed two babies but a bottle is easier, especially if you have help. It is also easier to monitor how much each baby has taken if you use a bottle.

But you probably want to breastfeed because it is better for your babies. It can take several weeks before your breasts produce sufficient milk, so a combination of your milk and a formula feed may be necessary until your milk production gets up to speed. Try to feed both babies at once otherwise you will be at it non-stop.

Raising Twins

There's no denying it's hard work. According to Tamba, the Twins and Multiple Births Association, twins should be encouraged to achieve a sense of individuality. To this end don't dress them in matching clothes, if you are given matching clothes as a gift try to ensure they wear their identical outfits on different days. Ask family and friends to send individual cards and presents, and try not to refer to them as 'the twins'.

It has been known for many years that twins' language is about six months behind their peers. They talk later and in shorter sentences. This can lead to reading difficulties later and problems when they start school. You can help by ensuring that you find time to talk and read to them, individually if possible as if you talk to them as a pair the dominant one will respond and the other may just opt out. If you can't find the time or energy for a bedtime read, play them a story tape.

Photo: Ziauddin Alam

Regarding sleeping arrangements, it is most often thought that sleeping in the same room works best. This is because it increases the odds to get them on the same schedule without much effort. When one wakes up, he or she will tend to wake the sleeping baby -- and, believe it or not, this is what you want. In fact, it is recommended that if one baby wakes up during the night, you should wake up the sleeping twin and nurse him too -this will continue to foster the same eating/sleeping schedule. It is also a good idea to nurse the twins simultaneously, even during the day. They sell twin nursing pillows to ease this task.

One other issue worthy of mention is the bathing schedule. Number one rule: don't become compulsive about a little dirt. If bathing on the same night is difficult, simply break it up over two nights and just keep a schedule of whose turn is next. It's also possible to sponge bath the least messy infant, while bathing the messier. This technique seems to lighten the load.