The New Nation - Internet Edition

Abu Bakar Siddiquee

Prior to the eighties of twentieth century there was scarcity of shops in Dhaka city where one could buy gift items according to the nature and requirements of the ceremonies such as wedding, reception, birthday or other celebrations. I had to buy something or other every now and then to give as a present in various functions I am invited. To me the shop of Mirpur road in the Dhanmondi area seem to be worth dropping by, firstly due to its location and secondly for the variety of collections. It was a time when the girls of Dhaka city have been gradually taking up the job of salesgirl. In that shop there were some girls in job. Most of them are college or university students and used to work on part-time basis. The articles of that shop to which I got familiar were mostly the indigenous goods, local handicrafts and picturesque books of Bangladesh.

It was a day I was selecting a gift for a wedding ceremony. A brass made chandelier that can be hang from ceiling and lit by candles attracted me. It was an assemblage of four quadrangular receptacles attached side by side, each having a platform for candles. The top of the chandelier is open, but all sides are surrounded by beautiful semitransparent colourful glass looks like a gas lantern chimney of the old time. After checking the chandelier very minutely and looking at it in hanging position it I liked it very much. The salesgirl, who has been displaying the chandelier, was familiar to me because of my frequent purchase of things from that shop. Her name is 'Lima' as engraved in nametag tucked in her kamiz. The name is of Latin origin; in English the starting letter 'L' gives two most extreme words of the world namely 'Love' and 'Leave'. The first word is joyful and the other word is a sad one. Lima loves to laugh. She looks different from the average Bangali girls being quite tall with befitting health. Like Bangali girls she is of swarthy complexion but her eyes were wider. At first sight she reminds the girl of Alexander the Great's land, but she possess the characteristics of the Bangali's black pupil with the loveliness of long drawn eyes that charms and attracts people and makes one forgetful.

'Sir, buy this one, it's an uncommon item. The price is also reasonable.' Lima said. She smiled her usual sweet smile that makes her more attractive. With a pure mild smile I asked her to wrap up the chandelier.

Time was passing in its usual course. Often I go to the shop to buy gifts, Lima welcomes me with a smile, helps to make the choice. Lima is not married yet, it can be understood by the shyness of her smile and body configuration. I am a bachelor, about to cross fifty. All these long years of my life I was busy in study to know the art of making good mark in examination and after that I remained busy to transfer the bookish knowledge amongst the students. Gradually I put on thick lenses over my eyes, my hair became grey, but the wideness of my mind tapered. Each and everybody known to me say that I am a devoted, successful teacher who sacrifices many things in life. Really I have to sacrifice much throughout my life, but those were for my own interest, which I did not realize earlier. Today at the end of my youth when I come to know that my colleague's daughter is being married or my friend's son and daughter-in-law is going to England or States, then the reality dawns upon me; it reminds me of the unsuccessful part of my life, and jog my memory how being covered by the term sacrifice I am deviated from the natural regular simple course of life.

With a short notice I was invited to attend a seminar abroad. Now-a-days many intellectuals of other countries want to know about the new nation Bangladesh. So I decided to take some pictorial informative books of Bangladesh along with me for the purpose of presenting those who will express desire. I went to the shop to buy the books but got disheartened not to see Lima there. Lima was not present in the shop on that day as it was her day off. The girl who was working in lieu of Lima does not have enough idea regarding such books. She showed many pictorial book of Bangladesh but the book that Lima showed me very enthusiastically on some other day was not available. That was a collection book having bright print and multicoloured picture. The main characteristic of the book is that each picture is described in English, French and Arabic version. I was going through some books, indecisive to take them, as I was not fully satisfied. The salesgirl understood my apprehension. She smiled and said,

'Sir, You can drop the idea of buying the books today. Lima apa will be here tomorrow and she has good conception about such collections.'

'That's good. I shall come tomorrow to buy the books.'

I was almost leaving just then a man entered the shop in a rush and asked the salesgirl who was showing me the books, 'Where is Lima?'

'Oh! She hasn't come. Today is her day off.' The girl replied.

The man seemed to be disturbed. He asked,

'Where shall I get her?'

The girl was taken aback at the question. She stammered,

'She must be in her house.'

The man did not talk further. As hurriedly as he entered the shop with that hurry he went out and started his car. During the conversation he met my eyes for a moment. Noticing my surprising look the salesgirl said, 'this gentleman is known to Lima apa. He lives in Birmingham of United Kingdom and marketing Bangladeshi goods in a joint venture.'

To me such an effort seemed to be of praiseworthy. Without lingering to the talk I said,

'Tell Lima to pack the pictorial book of Bangladesh which she showed me the other day. I require ten books. Tomorrow I shall come around eleven o'clock to take those.'

The next day I went to the shop at right time and found Lima in the counter. She wrapped each book separately with colourful paper; also the bill was made with a discount of ten percent. She showed a sample copy of the book and asked,

'Is this the book you have been looking for, sir?'

I found that Lima had correctly chosen the book. While paying the bill she was standing aside and I noticed the beautiful slope of her uncovered neck. Her black thick hair spread over her shoulder up to the buttock. Such a lustrous hair seldom comes into view. Lima blushed as I was observing her beauty with a wide gaze. I turned my eyes in a moment. The pride of her beauty is now expressed in her face.

While returning the money and the bill her hand touched mine. The softness and warmth of her hand spread to my whole body. I was feeling uneasy and becoming smaller within myself. Why my eyes fall on her uncovered neck today? Why all of a sudden her lustrous black hair fascinated me? Why…Why…?

At that moment the same person of yesterday entered the shop and came to Lima. Lima introduced me to him saying, 'he is a teacher of university, going to London for some days to attend a conference, and he is a regular customer of this shop. And here is Mr. Ashraf, a businessman; he has a showroom in Birmingham. He trades all sorts of handicrafts, tribal dress, leather products and jute materials and came here to verify whether he can make something exclusive from this market.'

'I am very glad to meet you. We should highlight our country more brightly and attractively to the other nations of the world,' I said.

Mr. Ashraf conversed with me in English mixed Bangla and said that he feels very high with my words. If I stay a couple of days more in England I must meet him in Birmingham. He gave his visiting card with address. By this time I could make an impression about him that this handsome looking Mr. Ashraf is around forty, well behaved and an all rounder person of modern civilization.

I reached London in due time. The seminar was also at its end. Those who received the picturesque book of the new nation Bangladesh were very happy. I was preparing mentally to return home but I received an order via fax that I have to make a report about the educational procedure and educational programme of universities of United Kingdom; I also have to note the effectiveness of their current projects. Three months time was granted to me for this programme.

Amongst the lists of the universities that I was supposed to visit, two were at Birmingham. I finished my work at Birmingham and decided to meet Mr. Ashraf by the address he has given to me. I took a taxi. After searching a lot I could find out his shop. It was a small shop in an untidy garage of a blind lane. A lone old Bangladeshi woman works there.

'Mr. Ashraf is out of Birmingham now.' She said.

The shop gave a dirty look. A few jute-rope-shelf and jute bag were hanging in the wall, some embroidered quilt were stacked in the rack, some clay made flower vases, few small statues, candle stands and few other handmade earthen articles were displayed in the showcase. The old woman told that Mr. Ashraf possess only this shop. There is no other branch. She is the only staff to take care of the shop; she is paid very low and that also not regularly. Mr. Ashraf frequently goes out of Birmingham and whatever he earns he cannot even bear the cost of liquor. Still the old woman was working because she is a Bangladeshi and is not efficient in English, with difficultly she keeps the account. After that what she says meant that Ashraf is also a womaniser and a vagabond.

After three months I returned to Bangladesh. I went to Lima's shop on the very first day. I didn't find her in the counter. When I turned my eyes I saw Lima standing in front of the shop owner who was shouting,

'Everybody in the town knows about your affair; I can't keep you in the service, there will be bad name of my shop.'

I came closer to them. Lima was surprised to see me. She asked,

'Sir, When did you return?'

'Last night.' I answered.

'You must have come to buy something?' Lima asked.

'No. I have come to see you.'

This unexpected answer made Lima broken into tears. She said,

'Sir, Ashraf has cheated me.'

'Yes, I can understand that. I am very much hurt to hear the way you are treated by the shop-owner.

I came out of the shop. Lima followed me. She said,

'What shall I do now? Where shall I go? How can I show my face to all?'

She burst into tears.

Lima was weeping. I was embarrassed. I can't allow her to weep like that on the road. I asked her to get into my car. I brought her to my house, made her sit in the drawing room and served a cup of coffee.

'Drink the coffee. You will feel better. There are so many ups and downs in reality but one should not get absolutely disheartened.' I told her.

So long Lima was weeping silently. Now she cried out loudly and said,

'I have lost everything. I'm pregnant… bearing Ashraf's child. What should I do now?'

I remain quiet for a long time. I took time to think. I considered so many issues.After a long spell of thought I said,

'Don't get upset Lima. If you agree then your child may bear my identity. I shall marry you today, just now, if you wish.'

On that very day we went to marriage registers office and completed the formalities of marriage.

Lima started living in my house. She sleeps in a separate room and I stay in my bedroom. We had been passing our days almost in a normal way. We used to talk formal and dine together. Lima used to clean my room in my absence. After returning from work I find Lima waiting for me in the tea table. At night if I fall asleep with the light on Lima puts off the light. If the weather were cool Lima would wrap me with a blanket, draw the curtains of the window if there is wind.

I bought every possible article necessary for the newcomer and for Lima also. Lima delivered a daughter in due time in the hospital. She named her Prama. Gradually Prama was growing up. We used to go to the shop where Lima used to work, Prama sitting in the pram. We used to buy the necessary items. Lima was really a proud mother now.

In the university area my colleagues were envious of my luck. They used to say that I have never face any sort of distress in my life, never face any loss anywhere. Only the word 'gain' is written in my luck. I only 'gained' one after another, obtaining of first division and first class in educational examinations, procuring the job of teacher in the University and availing the foreign scholarship without any effort; even at this last stage of my youth I won a wife who is much younger than me, educated, beautiful, lovely and affectionate. But I know how wretched I am. Very often I failed to sleep at night.

The other night also I failed to sleep. Lying over the bed I was thinking about the failure and deprivation of my whole life. I have made mistakes throughout my life one after another. During my student life I have never gone beyond the rules and regulations of my customs and religion. I denied my youthfulness, neglected myself and refrained from having a family of my own. I studied hard years after years to obtain higher qualifications. Now at the verge of my youth I married a girl out of pity, reside with her in the same house and playing the role of husband. But till today I'm a recluse in the lone corner of my life.

Burdened with sorrow I was absorbed in my thinking. A shadow came in front of me. Looking up I saw Lima. She was on her nightdress. The light has brightened her uncovered neck, and the lustrous hair spread over her back. She came closer to me and said,

'Aren't you in sleep?'

'I tried but failed.'

Lima came nearer and kept her long fingers between my hairs, caressing my hair she said,

'I was a salesgirl. My job was to sell goods as more as I can and my intention was to earn profit more and more from the customers. But what an irony of luck! I myself became a commodity and sold out in a total loss.' Lima's voice was sad. She kept quiet for few minutes, then said,

'But God is very great! You turned all my loss into a profit. In return I could give you nothing. You are so good, you are great!'

I looked up at Lima but failed to say anything. I extend my hand and pulled her over my bosom. Spontaneously Lima jumped on and embraced me with all her impulse so hardly that I was unable to move. It seemed to me that a drowning person of a sinking ship in an ocean fastened a log of wood with an utmost effort to be floated and saved from the death. Lima's body was soft and warm; instantaneously our body and mind dissolved in an unspoken vow.

(The short story written in Bangla named 'Protibimbo' translated by: Razia Khanam.)